"Saggy Maggie"

This poem is an ode
To the ugliest bitch ever
I might sound like a jerk
But my words are so damn clever...

I don’t gotta know her
I don’t wanna either
She looks like a bear cub used her face for a teether

It HURTS to watch "Batman"
I’d rather eat squid
She looks like a walking, talking Garbage Pail Kid

Ah, the movie is ruined
I can’t bear to watch
She wouldn’t even look good after one quart of Scotch

Well, now we all know
Why The Joker went nuts
He stared at her too long and got emotional cuts

Like, just look at her face, Scoob
It’s starting to sag
So why is The Scarecrow the one wearing the bag?

In the scene where Bruce kissed her
I had to rewind
’Cause I swore I heard him muttering "Thank GOD bats are blind."

Two-Face stood alone there
When he got sad, and cried
But the audience jumped up and fuckin’ cheered when she died

She’s uglier than George, John, Ringo & Paul
Someone please throw a sheet over Maggie Gyllenhaal!

J. Luna 2008